Love in Cyberspace

A neighbor asks an old lady: Where is your new grandson in law from? She says: He’s from Facebook.

Laugh all you want, but sooner than you think this joke will be a reality for many people. Most of us spend an enormous amount of time in front of our computers. Whether we are Facebook addicts, need the computer for work or following interesting tweets, there hasn’t been a day in the last decade without the Internet. Some of us feel more comfortable talking to strangers and sharing our everyday lives, because at the end of the day, we don’t really care if an unknown person judge our ways. Others find online chat rooms more convenient because they seem more magical than the romantic face to face encounters. Either way, around 30 percent of the entire population has found love is cyberspace, according to a study made in 2009. Currently, that percentage might be even higher, since we fall asleep and wake up with Facebook notifications. Only a small percentage of the population nowadays still refuses to use technology, because they believe nothing can replace the real human interaction. It doesn’t matter what other people think, because we are at that stage of evolution where the only values we value are our own. So keep doing what you’re doing as long as it makes you happy, because at the end, only you know what’s best for you.

The Convenience of the Cyberspace

In real life, the only way to find a compatible member of the opposite sex is by meeting them in person. Then again, this world rarely leaves us any space to actually meet another human being by accident. Human contacts scare us. You would rather assume that someone is robbing you, then trying to get your phone number. And if someone ever gets to that point where it’s time to ask for a phone number, you would rather give your Facebook contact than your phone number. You can delete anyone anytime from any contact list, but you can’t make someone forget your phone number. That is the first favorable feature of the cyberspace. As soon as you stop liking someone, you have the chance to delete your entire history you had together. And conversing online is more relaxed. You are not pushed, pressured, or forced to put on makeup. You can be anywhere you want, dressed however you feel like and eat with the mouth open if you want. There is no one around to judge you and you get to know the other person more intimately before you make any big decisions.

To be fair, many real life relationships fall apart once the players get to know each other a little better. When you first meet someone in person, you tend to put on your best face, your best behavior and say all the right words. In the long run, that doesn’t really help you. On the contrary, it can ruin your relationship. Either you or your partner will keep the little secrets hidden, until the relationship is in a stage where you can’t go back and say you actually hate horror movies, but you said you like them, only to make your partner like you a little more. In the cyberspace, those little secrets get revealed first and that’s why online dating is so convenient. From a financial point of view, love in cyberspace is also a better way to start. You don’t have to pay expensive dinners, waste money on clothes and go shopping for new adorable outfits. Everything you need is in the computer and the only money you spend until the first actual date is for the Internet bill, which you pay for anyway. Plus, asking uncomfortable questions is not advisable of face to face romantic meetings. You can’t question your date whether he wants children or not, which is his or hers favorite pose in bed and how much money they make on a monthly basis. Some might consider these queries to be an honest and safe first approach, while others might get offended.

Many of the online relationships usually start with these questions. It’s not awkward to talk about sex, money and other taboo topics in online chat rooms and this unbridled method of conversing is what makes the cyberspace more attractive. There are no guarantees that you will find your soul mate on the Internet but it sure is the fastest and safest way to meet new people. At last, dating several different people online is not a crime, on the contrary, it’s one of the advantages of online dating.

Finding New Love in Cyberspace

If you have never had similar experience before, looking for love in cyberspace may seem like not your favorite cup of tea. You may think the Internet is full of perverts and you email address should not be associated with any online dating sites. There are many people who find online dating sites to be the best platform to unleash their inhibitions, but that shouldn’t suggest that the rest of us are not just looking for love. Other people before you have been asking the same question and large number among them had the guts to try it out.

Before you start, make sure you are not making a dating profile just because you want to get over your last big love. Hidden agendas like that can turn out to be frustrating, either for you or the unfortunate soul on the other end of your Internet connection. Your dating profile should be a clean slate, not a place where you can find someone who can help you get over your emotional upheavals. On dating sites, everybody lies. They exaggerate their financial standing or physical appearance, but remember that one day, you may have to meet the person you lie to in person. So keep you information updated, but don’t try to oversell yourself. Looking for love on the Internet is just like applying for a job over the Internet. When you send your resume to your potential employers, you don’t say you speak French if you don’t speak French. There are many other things you can list under interests or hobbies, so keep your profile information simple and straightforward. Confidence is always appreciated, so even if you don’t have the perfect figure, make sure you upload a full body photo. It doesn’t have to be anything sexy or attractive, just enough to say that you have nothing to hide. You should give your viewers the chance to take a peek at the real you, but not so much that your profile becomes a hotspot for freaks and sexual perverts. After you complete your profile and it doesn’t seem fake anymore, it’s time to make a move.

If you find someone you find attractive and interesting, keep your first message short. Cheesy one-liners and pick up lines can make some of the other users block your profile, so make sure you put an effort. Long correspondences with all your likes and dislikes can also have the “reverse effect”. The first message should be more of a note, where you quickly state what you are looking for and maybe mention something that gives the other user the feeling that you have spent a little time on their profile before you sent the message. Keep in mind that your online dating profile is only a virtual presence of you, so be direct. Playing hard to get and making other users wait days for your reply will get you nowhere in cyberspace. You have to answer quickly, because more than 80,000 users of the largest dating websites get married every year, which lead us to the fact that your potential mate might get snatched right before your eyes. At one point, hopefully, some of your online relationships will be ready for the second step, which is face to face meeting. For your first real date don’t schedule lunch or dinner. You may not like your date as much as you liked them on their profile and it would be rude and cruel to leave them in the middle of the restaurant. A midday coffee date will be perfect to decide whether you like a second date or not, and it will save you both from stress and big expenses.

Do’s and Don’ts for Dating Online

If you are in different time zones with your correspondent it will be hard to follow this rule, but try not to answer the messages after midnight. If you are looking for love in cyberspace, late night chatting might leave the wrong impression, but if you have already exchanged a couple of emails, feel free to talk to them whenever you feel like. Receiving late night messages may lead you to believe that your pen pal is married and just looking for fun, so your messages in the middle of the night may be regarded as booty calls too. When you find someone you think you can give your phone number to, don’t. Make a video call first via Skype or similar platform, because many people are amazingly good writers, but not very amusing in person.

On the same matter, don’t leave any personal information on your profile, like home or work addresses, last name or link to your other online accounts. That kind of information is irrelevant to your dating profile. Instead, keep your suitors informed about your personality and features that describe you a relationship. List everything you are looking for in a partner and then list everything you tend to give in a relationship. No one wants a boaster. If your profile is filled with the things you expect your partner to provide, but you forget to mention what you are willing to give in return, many potential sweethearts will move on to the next, less self-absorbed profile. Learn to read between the lines. If a profile says that the user appreciates the finer things in life, that can easily be translated into a gold digger. “I hate drama” means the user is capable of producing enough drama, so he or she does not need you to spill the cup. Don’t lie about your life or personal preferences. Since the social awkwardness is already eliminated you can say whatever you want without feeling ashamed or uncomfortable. At last, keep your expectations low. The chances of finding love in cyberspace are great, but you may need to write to many frogs until your prince arrives.

Relationships Internet

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