Why Do We Write

(Opening scene: WWII fighter planes buzzing angrily overhead, old newsreel of WWI doughboys jumping into trenches. Stimulating martial music playing in the background.)

Preamble

The article you are about to read is the first of a series of articles produced by the Writing Department exclusively for Devtome.

The Office of Writing Information has arranged with the Writing Department to release it to a global audience.

Most of the words in this article were obtained from dusty old personal blogs, unofficial bits and pieces of VHS and Beta tapes and illegal searches of writer's garbage cans that were placed out on the curb Monday night.

The purpose of these articles is to give factual information as to the causes, the events leading up to our entry into Devtome and the principles for which we are writing.

“We are determined that before the sun sets over the yardarm our writing 
will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand … 
and of overwhelming humility on the other.”

~ Henry J. Handwriter, 
President, Writing Department

(Fade)

(Open on scene of 1930's newsroom, behatted writers typing furiously on massive Underwood typewriters, cigarettes dangling from their lips and half-empty bottles of Scotch on their desks)

(Background music: “When The Caissons Go Rolling Along”)

(Walter Winchell sound-a-like voice-over)

Causes and events leading up to our writing for Devtome – what ARE the causes? Why are we writers writing so furiously to meet the end-of-round deadlines? Why are we so concerned with shares and Devcoins and marketing?

  • Is it because of (zoom shot of homeless people) job security?
  • Is it because of (medium shot of unconscious drunk) personal satisfaction?
  • Or is it because of (pan shot of Gates of Heaven) more altruistic reasons?

Is THAT why we are writing?

Or is because of (rapid shots of majestic mountains, awe-inspiring monuments and large groups of people holding hands) Devtome, Wikis and Open-Source Material everywhere?

Just what was it that made us change our way of writing overnight? What made us give up our families, our pets, our video games, our sex lives, all in order to produce ethically-inspired open-source material? What put us into editing mode, instead of watching yet another funny-cat YouTube video?

“This is a fight between a free article and a Pay-Per-View article.”

~ Jonathan T. Deviltomb,
Senior Accountant, Writing Department

Which of these two worlds that Mr. Deviltomb spoke of would YOU rather live in?

Let's take the FREE article world first … OUR world. How did it become free?

It became free through the selfless sacrifices of writers like yourself – writers who did not shirk the call of duty, writers who believe in the free and easy access to all knowledge, a basic tenet of the Internet itself …

Only through a long and unceasing struggle inspired by men and women of vision, did the modern-day wonder of Devtome come to be.

(slow pan shot and voice-over: “Mohammed … Moses … Confucius … Jesus … “)

All believe that in the sight of the Universal One, all articles are created equal, and that all peoples have the inalienable right to read them for free. It is a principle that was expressed so eloquently by our leaders …

(medium pan shot and voice-over: “Washington … Lincoln … Roosevelt … Bush (Jr.) …”)

Fighting … living … dieing … for what? For freedom! Freedom to read what we WANT to read, WHEN we want to read it, WITHOUT taxation!

(Close-Up: Liberty Bell ringing)

“Is open-source not wondrous?
Is Devtome not sweet?
Would we not switch to tofu
And give up our meat?”

~Hilary Q. Blokchane,
Devtome Poet Emeritus

Yes, sacrifices are made, willingly, for FREEDOM!

“I know not what course others may take,
But as for me,
Give me Devtome or give me death!”

~Patrick “Wiki” Henry (deceased),
Devtome Freedom Fighter

But what of that OTHER world?

Here, men insisted that we pay for every word we read … that there would be a cost exacted for every syllable we consume … that copyrights held sway over Mortal Man, and that Fair Use was only a dream …

It is a world where writers are pulled screaming from their homes and interred in “content farms”, there to spend the remainder of their pathetic lives scribbling out cat-food commercials and 150-word articles on “SEO Techniques of the Upper Pacific Basin Tribes” …

But the clarion call went out, to writers near and far, from Kissandtell, Iowa to Nagano Prefecture, Japan … and the writers responded. They came … they came singly and in droves, they came with quill pens and high-end gaming machines, they came with typewriters and they came with Etch-A-Sketches. No matter their homelands, no matter their stations in life, they came together, to unite in their common quest -

FREEDOM!

THIS is why we write!

… okay, a few of us might get off on seeing our stuff in print, and we can't even get it accepted by our high-school newspaper, that's true. And a few of us might be here for the Devcoins (mercenary b*stards!). And yes, a few of us wandered in here thinking it was a new singles dating site for logophiles.

But FREEDOM is our battle cry – it is what brings us all together, hacks and wordsmiths alike! It is our common bond, a glue that holds us together more permanently than that time we spilled the bottle of Crazy Glue on our hands while we were thumb-wrestling.

FREE ACCESS! The words beat in our hearts as our fingers beat on our keyboards! Never before have so many written so much for so many, for so little, for so long, for … for, um … well, you get the idea.

Why do we write? Because we cannot NOT write! It is our food, our motivation, our very life-blood! We could no more give up writing than breathing – it is a fundamental, biological imperative.

“Birds gotta' swim,
Fish gotta' fly,
I've gotta' write for Devtome
Until the day I die!”

~ Newly D. Ceesed,
Former Devtome Writer

Why do we write? You might as well ask why we still believe in Santa! It is an act of faith, an act of empowerment and an act of love.

(music crescendo)

(fade to black)


Writing | Humour | Parody | Devtome



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